Despite a couple of nice things happening, it has been a miserable week.
And I'm not much looking forward to this one either.
I look back and marvel at the rapidity of my decline. It seems that everyday brings a noticeable increase in the intensity of my symptoms or the erosion of my strength. Linda has become so alarmed she has taken the day off work today, no longer certain I can be left on my own.
Tomorrow I have a visit with the Medical Oncologist and Thursday I begin a new cycle of chemo. On Monday the 7th I have my first appointment with Palliative Care and the next day I finally have an appointment to drain my lungs of the fluid that is nearly crippling me.
Everyday pulls me further from the series of radiation treatments I have just completed, but whose cumulative side effects will continue to build for a some days yet.
Poor Linda, my conversations become entirely focused on my own internal condition, my aches and coughing, wheezing, panting, crushing fatigue, bloating, diarrhea, pain and sorrow.
I am miserable company. Even Lindsay will attest to that.
I have never gone into chemo from such a low ebb and know chemo will add its own layer of side effects.
But it is the hope I cling to for some return to normalcy.
a painting in process . . . .
6 hours ago