I don't want Lindsay to hear this.
I don't want to see that bright sparkle in her eyes turn dull and fade.
I don't want to see her self esteem crushed.
I don't want her to learn that you don't love her.
Well, not "you" in particular; the collective "you" I mean.
There is something about Lindsay that is hard to disguise.
Lindsay is (oh I don't want to say it) black.
Lindsay is a black dog.
Okay, not completely black. Her snout is white and she has a white chest, a white tip to her tail and she has the cutest little white feet that look like she's wearing athletic socks....
But I digress. The fact is, Lindsay, for all intents and purposes, is a black dog. 97% black, at least.
And according to an article I was just reading, people hate black dogs. Dog Pounds can't give them away. They even have a name for it. They call it the "black dog syndrome".
In British folklore, such as stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Sir Walter Scott, the black dog is a creepy, spectral figure that haunts cemeteries and is an omen of death. In "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban," it is a big black dog called the Grim who stalks Harry. Another Englishman, Winston Churchill, battled serious bouts of depression which he called "the black dog."
Black dogs have another problem, they can appear older; even when they're young, they have bits of facial hair that may be white or gray. And the ignored breeds are often those who simply look a little big and scary, and whose bad reputations may have preceded them, such as Rottweiler, Doberman pinscher and pit bull mixes.
Now I especially don't want you to listen to this part Lindsay. Some people turn in their black dogs to the shelters just because they've gotten new furniture and don't like the dark fur their pet sheds.
In the shelter the colour of their fur makes them the least likely to be adopted and the most likely to be euthanized.
People want goldens, and brown dogs. They want white dogs and gray dogs and russet dogs. They want large dogs and short dogs and long wiener dogs; dogs with long hair and dogs with short hair; bold aggressive dogs and tiny timid dogs.
But they don't want black dogs.
No matter how lovable.
Oh Lindsay, I hope you never hear of this!
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