Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A Transformative Experience

cavin and hobbes

Steven has asked us all to publish a transformative experience today. Please visit his blog for a complete list of participants.

Here is one of my transformative life experiences (I've had more than one)....

In talking with my parents, one of the parental responsibilities they dreaded the most was talking to my brother's and I about sex.

To them it was the end of innocence. Like revealing that Santa Claus doesn't exist and this is how the presents really get under the tree. So they put it off until I was thirteen. By that time I'd already known for three years.

My sex education came at the hands of an eleven year old girl when I was about 10. She and a girl friend were playing tea and making mud pies in their sand box while my parents were visiting their home and I was told to go out and play with them while the adults visited.

I never understood the passion for making tea and mud pies. I was more into playing cowboys and Indians.

But the girls didn't want to play tea either.

The older girl wanted to share her new knowledge of where babies came from. Her mother, being more liberal and progressive than my own, had had "the talk" with her. She was anxious pass along all she had learned, in clinical detail, with diagrams drawn in the mud. Drawings quickly erased when her mother came out with lemonade for us all.

Her mother obviously hadn't noticed I was virtually stunned into immobility, unusually quiet, wide eyed and ashen faced.

After her mother left, and the girl was certain I had mastered the details of the sex act, which seemed a pretty stupid way to make babies to me, she wanted to know if I'd like to go to her room to make a baby. Then we could have a baby of our very own.

Wouldn't that be fun?

Her friend was very enthusiastic about the idea.

If playing tea and making mud pies was a passion I didn't understand, having an actual baby to look after was right up there with finding the Frankenstein monster standing in your bedroom closet. There was no indication from either girl that the sex act itself was in any way pleasurable. It was just the exciting gateway to having a baby of their own to look after, instead of inanimate dolls.

As a seduction, the girls had a bit to learn about technique.

As for me, it solidified a suspicion that girls were TOTALLY stupid. And had no idea how to have fun.

So I went into the house and bugged my parents to take me home and that's how I learned babies weren't found in a cabbage patch.

My life was transformed.